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The Fence Story - Controlling Anger

The fence story is a wonderful tool for teaching a child how to control their temper and also to use as a creative story to use with any Bible lesson on anger!

Anger leaves its mark on our lives and the lives of others.  Learning to control anger is an essential tool to teach our children along with Bible verses on anger.


The Fence story - Author Unknown

There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy's father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.

On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!

Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his anger, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.

It wasn't long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn't lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn't wait to tell his father.

Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.

Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

"You have done very well, my son," he smiled, "but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same."

The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.

"When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you're sorry, the wounds will still be there."


Bible Verses on Anger

Use these verses along with the fence story to teach a wonderful lesson on the importance of controlling our anger and God's truth.

James 1:19-20 can be summed up in three words for quick recall - "Quick, Slow, Slow."

"This you know, my beloved brethren But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."


Proverbs 16:32 -

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city."


Ephesians 4:6-10 -


"BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity."


An Object Lesson to go with "The Fence Story"

anger-object-lesson

When my kids were younger and the pressures of getting us all to school on time along with other frustrations of life, I sometimes (okay...many times) felt like a bottle of coke or pop being shaken up by life.  That carbonation like my frustrations built up pressure, and if I took the top off too quickly...it all spewed out all over the place and all over those around me, including those I loved.  Of course, then I felt like a terrible mother, wife, friend, person in general.


Photo by nana @ Pexels

I learned to try to remember what James 1:19-20 says about being "slow to anger."  I would take deep breaths or remove myself from others for a few minutes to release the pressure gradually.  Prayer is a wonderful tool for this, but it would take me stopping to recognize the pressures building and turn to God for help.  I had a choice to make.

Let's face it, we all get shaken up by life at times and then spew our frustration (aka anger) out on others.  It may be "road rage" at others because of time pressure or it may be a child or work schedule demanding more of us than we feel we can give.  Anger also may flare because of hurts or feelings of unfairness.

Pressures and hurts are part of life.  They are going to come, but we do actually have a choice of how we will respond in the midst of them.  Let's begin to try to recognize the building of pressure before it spews.  Let's go to God and ask Him to help us slowly release it in a way that will not hurt others and leave scars like in "The Fence Story" but instead bring glory to Him. 

Trust me, it's a process.  I still haven't mastered it.  God knows our weaknesses and remains close to help us when we turn to Him.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

We aren't perfect.  It's in how we allow God to work through our weaknesses others will see His work in and through us.  The next time you see a bottle of pop or carbonated drink, remember this gift God gives us.  His grace is sufficient when we turn to Him and ask.


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